Tag: trans

Poems

The Bullrider

Lil was a champion rodeo

bullrider.

She was handsome.

Chiseled jaw.

Sharp Nordic features.

Short cropped shining

bright blonde hair.

A weathered, smile with

pronounced lines

that could warm any

room or person.

She smiled, laughed,

and cut up a lot.

I liked that.

I saw her and she saw me,

my dark eyes,

over-mascaraed.

She was gritty and tough

but her heart was light

and loving.

She watched me all night

in my frilly green silky

dress and wanted me.

She knew I was a transwoman

and didn’t care.

In fact, somehow that made me

very lovely to her.

A femme and floppy,

gay as all hell transwoman.

When the dance hall closed

she approached me.

I saw her belt buckle and

her strong legs in cowboy jeans.

She asked me with a nod and

her eyes and so I let her take me

and lead me outside.

We walked 50 paces in the cold

Colorado spring night air,

then we came to her travel trailer.

Her hand had been strong but

gentle on my hips

the whole walk there.

At the door to the trailer,

she said, “Can I babe?”,

then she tilted back my pink hair

and kissed me strong but soft

and sensual.

I lost my breath and wanted more.

I put my hand on her chest

and asked her to take me inside.

In the soft shining warm lamp

light I dropped to my knees,

on old linoleum floor.

My dress split and I kissed her

thighs in jeans, clutching her

bullrider’s ass.

She unbuckled and I saw what

was pristine.

So I made love to her with my

mouth.

Silky, wet, strong.

I made her tumble.

I made her gasp.

She clutched my hair.

She said, “I’ll cum on you

if you cum on me”.

And I replied, “Hell yes”,

all moany.

She buckled over, spasming.

Then one minute later

she threw me on the couch

and humped me til I was a mess

and I was screaming and I

was screaming

with my lovely bullrider a top me.

I forgot my body.

I forgot my mind.

So I leaned in and kissed her

very very deep.

Two women softly humping

at that point.

Moaning and panting.

Yes,

we are proud women.

We are proud women.

Poems

Men & Women

What if men had vaginas?
What if women had penises?
What if?
What if?
What if?

They do.
They do.
They do.
Right here
on this sacred earth,
where we will conquer hate
and men with vaginas
and women with penises
will be loved and accepted
… by even the transphobic
gay men and gay women
and also the hateful Christians.

Poems

Peni$-Pu$$y

My peni$ smells like pu$$y.

Good pu$$y.

Sweet pu$$y.

Again,

I’m talking about a peni$

my peni$, smelling like pu$$y.

And no, not because I

fkd a cisgender woman

with good, sweet pu$$y.

My peni$ smells like good

sweet pu$$y

because

I take female hormones

and I’m a woman

with a peni$.

You know,

womanliness wouldn’t fuck up

having a peni$.

Womanliness takes a peni$

and makes it actually ok, tolerable,

a real prized pony.

Poems

The Unnecessary Journey

Did you want to see my gonads?
I’m not real sure you do.
They’re really very weird looking,
like all male-born gonads
(in my own personal opinion).
After receiving female hormones
they’ve shriveled up a bit.
I’d even say they’re kind of cute now,
as cute as male-born gonads can be.
46 years ago
they started on a journey.
Ever since, they have come outside,
into the golden sunlight world.
And since, I’ve wish they’d go,
go back inside,
or maybe even go away completely.
They’re going to be removed
from my body soon,
so soon, their unnecessary journey
will end.

Poems

Sapphic Love

Sapphic love heals us.
Us women.
Cisgender and transgender
women.
It heals us from the
trauma of patriarchy.
The marginalizing.
The containment.
The — you should be like this
kind of stuff.
We’ll be however we want to be
together, woman to woman,
in this space.
It it is sweet and kind.
Non-judgmental.
It’s a safe space,
a tender space,
my ladies.
God, my fellow ladies.
This chest to chest stuff.
This lips to lips stuff.
This hard stuff.
This soft stuff.
This trustful stuff.

It heals.
God, it heals.

Poems

One Transwoman’s Way

I will grow old and die.

My body might slowly

lose its life and energy.

I will lose my beauty and

my youth.

My revival won’t go on

forever.

I will be in pain, be tired,

feel ragged and worn out.

Or

I could die sooner, from a

sudden illness, accident, or

heart attack.

But however this inevitability

happens,

I will have lived life on my terms,

with joy, believing in kindness

and leaning into other

people’s joy

regardless of what passes

around and within me

and how my fate peters out.

Poems

Ripcord, You Dreamy

His name was Ripcord

(well, something similar)

and yes, HE was a lesbian.

I met him in a place in Dallas

I should not have been.

He liked the flirty skirt I was

wearing and he said he liked

my dark eyes and my fit, but

feminine figure.

We talked about very gay stuff

together.

He talked about how big his clit

was.

I said I’d loved a couple women like that;

one was femme,

the other – more a chapstick lesbian.

He said he used the male pronouns

because he wanted to f@&k with

the patriarchy.

I told him I really liked that.

I’m not going to lie,

I really wanted him,

so I got his number.

Poems

Estrogen In The Morning

I take my estrogen in the morning
as I prepare for my daily judgment.

The lover who will not commit.
The child who furls at me confusingly.
The parade of exclusions from
cisgender women —
silently they say,
“you’re not one of us”.

Why would I do this?
Terraform my body from a
handsome man to a colorful woman.
Why?
So many things stand against me.

Because I
Because I
Because I
believe in the power and the presence
of femininity.
I feel it in my mind, my body, my blood,
and my soul.

Through the feminine I act,
not the feminine aspiring for the masculine,
lusting for patriarchy’s privilege,
no not through this,
but through the dismantling of privilege
and the appetite for it.
This is the feminine
and it is how we will change this
primitive, primitive world.

And this is why I take my pills.

Poems

Family Of Transition

The family of my transition
I will not grow old with.
I may likely know them
for a long time,
but they will not be family.
Though
on the walls of my home
I will still hang the artwork
their young daughters
gave me to celebrate my
ascending vibrancy in the world.
For one year,
one year alone,
they loved and accepted me,
they found joy, excitement, exuberation
in me being in the world,
and I consider that a great honor
to have had that effect on them,
to have
received their celebration.

They’ll find someone new in the future
to draw pictures for
and give Christmas gifts to,
to get cuddles before bedtime,
and my transgender transition
will continue
in its solitary and communal way
that no one can relate to,
yet everyone becomes a part of
its story.

The ghost voices of these young girls
will always give color to
my woman soul.
My woman soul will be colorful
thanks to the sparks of their love.

Poems

The Purse My Mama Bought Me

The purse my Mama
bought me,
I carry it like a teddy bear.
I’ve kept it for too long.
It’s actually uncool.
It’s not the greatest purse.
Wait, hold on there Nova,
let’s be fair and objective;
it is
pretty damn functional
and being black leather,
it is fairly versatile.
If I’m honest,
Mom did a pretty good job
picking out and giving me
my first purse
as a forty-five year old
now-woman.
I know some women
my age no longer have
their mom around
or they might not have
a great relationship with
their mom,
and well, my mom hasn’t been
exactly exemplary
as I’ve transitioned my gender,
but I do truly love, respect,
and admire her,
and she did give me a solid,
perfect first purse.
And so I cling to and keep up
with this bastard like it is
my favorite teddy bear.