The best therapy I’ve received
all year
was laying on a hard wooden floor
using a plush toy rainbow bunny rabbit
as a pillow
while a three year old girl
and a five year old girl
drifted off to sleep with soft gentle breaths
because they were no longer scared
because I lay on that hard wooden floor
protecting them.
Something about their pure, deep breaths
was life affirming,
very much like an elixir.
All the things they’ll face in life,
yet I sat their gently with those breaths,
knowing
we all grow and die, time passes
and
this soft breathing of children into sleep
somehow gave me soul-soothing courage.
Tag: parenting
As a woman
I’m learning
to apologize
over every little thing
and notice how other women
apologize for inane things too…
like sorry for turning the light on too quickly
sorry for cooking too much food,
sorry for placing ketchup on the wrong area
of the plate for a kid,
sorry for having a rough day.
Sorry, sorry, sorry,
I’ll try again, I promise. Tomorrow.
I apologize.
Thankfully though,
as a woman
I’m also learning
that it is absolute bullshit
for us to be apologizing all the time
over passengerless, stupid shit.
Mother never called
after I was hurting.
She still didn’t understand
I’m a daughter now.
She never understood the ways
I was when I was a boy either,
so I parented myself.
Now as a 44 year old woman,
crying and broken,
I become
my own impeccable mother
because I can now.
I recognize something vacant.
I parent myself again.
I always wanted a daughter.
Something my father taught me
was always have enough water
in your house
so that if your water supply got cut off
you would have enough water
to keep you hydrated long enough
to make a trek on foot
to your nearest town
and get to a convenience store
and take by force, if necessary,
however much water you needed,
using a tactical shotgun for persuasion.
They let him go
when he was young and dying of cancer,
drifting through outer-space
they let him go,
the last people’s race of people
didn’t own him,
floating past nationalism and liberty
as cancer an eternalness created
archetypes of the sufferer,
the fear of the shadow,
just the vessel of the genome,
we lift you up to the cluster,
the ridge of stars.
Child without childhood
reaches for your fingers,
the seven wrinkles,
your chance to perceive things
but it ran away with the forms and
words of humanness,
just the vessel of the genome,
information is transferable
in
this
standing in a field before a 7-11®,
a parent kisses their child at college
in Kansas.
They got to go to college,
wave, wave . . . waves
but wave to the abilities of Einstein,
those crackling transmissions of the
Pentecost,
those crackling wavebands of gray.
Jesus saves.
Computers save.
We’re nursing our babies back to health.
We cannot help but give them health.
All of the sudden,
the sunlight gives them health.
Poetry by W.T. tuqMairtin
They let him go
when he was particle-composed and had died of
cancer,
drifting through outer space
they let him go,
the people’s race of peoples didn’t own him,
floating past nationalism and liberty
as cancer an infinity emulsified
the mortal equation,
the surmountable forms of gray ways,
child without childhood
you picked at these fingers,
the seven wrinkles, your chance to perceive things
but accelerating away,
faster than cycles of sun or moon,
with the forms and “words” of humanness,
standing as a sun-drenched field before a 7-11®,
in light
a parent kisses their child at college,
the smell of wet tallgrass.
They got to go to college,
wave wave . . . wave wave
the forty classes
wave, for the presence of Einstein.
The ports and portals are much different.
novamartinpoetry.com 