It’s a scary thing to admit,
maybe a scary thing to feel,
although physically, it feels
really good to get there.
Often these days, very late at night,
after I’ve done like eight
or nine lines of coke,
I’m able to finally lay there and
feel calm,
feel cool,
feel loved,
forget about you,
forget who you are,
forget that you exist,
forget that you no longer love me,
and then I’m able to
dumbly, mindlessly, numbly,
fall asleep and sleep good,
sleep in peace.
People don’t typically think of
cocaine working this way
and maybe that’s why this is
scary…
that this is what it’s evolved to.
This is what love is to me now.
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